What’s up chubby?

Our ground is sloppy wet. Still frozen under four inches or so of top soil. It’s like eggs in a frying pan for scrambling. Slippery and undesirable until they firm up a bit with the heat. I realize those who live in colder climates can’t help but chuckle at the whining of their kin further south when we are temporarily chilled with an arctic cold front. I really don’t give a damn if your average temps in January never rise above 15 degrees. All I want is some home grown tomatoes!

Every year I go through a period of not wanting to do a damn thing around here, only interrupted by the child like excitement that overcomes me at Christmas, otherwise I do the bare minimum. Only what absolutely has to be done gets done. A mini hibernation. Recharging of the batteries and of late, a chance to pack on a shitload of weight. So three days ago there was a beginning of a drive to lose 40 pounds and a goal to run with my daughter in a local 5K this March. All very doable goals. It amazes me how my attitudes take so long to flip. I’ve read that sunlight exposure could have something to do with it. Hell, it works for chickens. Put a light on hens that have quit laying for the winter and you will have eggs. That would be an easy answer to why the desire and drive to drop the weight has developed. Wouldn’t it be cool if that was all it took. Shine a light in fatties face and watch the weight fall off! My motivation unfortunately has less to do with being tired of carrying the extra weight than what it would cost to put myself in new jeans. Clothes are expensive. My frugal function in the brain says it is cheaper to reduce tonnage.

I wear bibs. I wear them all the damn time. I like them. They’re easy, plenty of room and pockets everywhere. I’ve got old tax files from 1997 stored in pockets of my bibs. The unfortunate aspect of this roominess is what I like to call the “fish tank theory”. The premise that a fish will grow to fill its environment. The presumption for this theory is false, but it has worked all too well for me. I am just getting older, don’t eat anything close to a low fat diet, haven’t exercised on a consistent basis in years. I sit most of the time practicing my craft and drive three hours a day round trip to do so. I was injured falling off a horse a few years ago and that hasn’t exactly helped in either the weight control or the desire to exercise. I’m not the young man I was. I haven’t bounced back very well. I could crap out a list of excuses for the shape I’m in but it wouldn’t help me lose an inch of blubber off my growing girth. Simply all I have to do is start and stay started. Start to walk/jog. Start to push away from the table a little earlier. Start getting off my arse and getting an expanding list of chores completed. Basically I’m a bad finisher. I’m excellent; in the top percentile of starters. So time and my girth will tell.

Thankfully this is the time of year that the seed catalogs are falling out of the mailbox. The urge to chart, research, take inventory of seed on hand, peruse blogs and forums for garden inspiration has invaded the vast space between my ears. This is the time of year I get wound up. It is way to early to actually put seed to soil but not to prepare for doing so. I am the sort that must make a list of what I need to do. Not so much to remember what is calling for my attention but more to keep on task. I have an extremely bad habit of starting at job “A” then making a lateral move to job “B” well in advance of completion of job “A”. By doing so I have developed the need for the list. I’m sure I could be labeled with some sort of damned disorder and that there is an appropriate medication available. Lord knows if I watch enough television that SOME pharmaceutical will have a concoction of chemicals that MAY cause anal seepage, nose bleeds, headaches, uncontrollable convulsions, blurred vision and loss of hearing but it will fix that tendency for the mind to drift.



  1. Ed said,

    January 19, 2010 at 10:51 AM

    Thank you for documenting the story of my life so well!

  2. edifice rex said,

    January 19, 2010 at 8:05 PM

    I think I've got that disorder too! and waaaaay too many projects to indulge it.

  3. Woody said,

    January 30, 2010 at 5:23 AM

    Ed..you're welcome.Annie..at least you're working your punch-list down.Karl..I've been guilty of the list of lists.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: